The Holiday's are here! It's snowing!





Look who bonded while
I was gone......

  Can you believe it?  Pretty soon it will be Christmas, then on to 2012.  First though, Adam is about to write his final exams for the third trimester, which will also end his first year of Law School.  What an accomplishment!  I am so proud.  He does it so graciously too.  I have to say, I really like this "Going to Law School." 

 

Scar 2 weeks post op



My healing is going well.  It has been three weeks since my surgery and I feel back to normal.  My face is still numb around the incision and I have this interesting and tingly nerve feeling in my cheek. 

Otherwise, I  have been out jogging (weather permitting) without any annoyances from my leg.  At first, I had a lot of strange, shocking, shooting and uncomfortable nerve sensations, similar to hitting your funny bone, yet this was in my calf.  I'm sure the nerve in my leg was thinking... What the heck happened to me?? :) Why did I have to be sacrificed??  :) 





Post operation-right eye with new weight.  I am able

to wear make-up again.. Feels pretty good.

 So my aches, pains, and stitches have been removed or diminished at this point.  Just some scars left and a lot of internal nerve growing in my face.  Most importantly, I remind myself not to forget the powerful effects of a positive attitude.  This is a Dr. Hadlock order... Love her.





Old gold eye weight-droopy eyelid

 In regards to the new gold eye weight; my eye is very happy and in excellent condition.  The weight is lighter, placed more effectively, and doesn't make my eyelid droop.  What a concept!  Oh, I can also see a lot better and use less eye lubricant.




I am so happy to have finally found a Dr. who agreed with me that the old eye weight was problematic.  She understood and replaced the old 2gram with a 1.4gram gold eye weight.  Thank goodness!  I knew there could be a better outcome than what I had.  I am learning a lot about trusting my instincts through all of this.  If I could give any advice it would be trust yours.  I  have found that it is also very important to find a Dr. who has a lot of experience and specializes in what you are trying to treat.  So many Docs will say, "Oh yeah,  I can treat you,"  Or, "I have experience in this," when in reality, they don't.  They are looking for experience.



magazine trees

So, on to a more lighthearted topic, Holiday Decorating!  I used the unwanted base branches of Steve and Amy's Christmas tree to make a mini tree for Adam and I.  You wouldn't even know this tree does not have a trunk.  If you have a large tree in your Living Room, create this mini tree for the kids room, or the master bedroom.  What is better than one tree????  Two trees!!!  On top of that, this mini tree is price effective or even free.  Geez, I am a terrible sales person and I am not even selling anything...



Mini tree made of large tree branches



Speaking of free; I made Christmas tree decorations out of magazines thanks to youtube.com.  It's kind of like origami. 

I hope you have fun doing what ever you do this next few Holiday weeks.  Decorating, shopping, partying, studying, staying warm, moving, wrapping, reading, cooking, and so on, and so on.



JP-C





Home again

 

Boston

 

Hi.  Well I survived and now am recovering with a bruised body, as to be expected.  Thank you for all of your kind and warm thoughts.  Thank you to Carol and Aunt Lisa for being very kind, sweet, and gentle with me as well as getting me home quickly.

Dr. Hadlock mentioned that she was thrilled by the strength of my nerves, both in my face and my leg.  So, I guess I prepared my body well.  Now, Im just noticing odd pulsing feelings both in my face and my leg.  I am happily recovering with my sweet Adam and Oli here to wait on me hand and foot.

See the lighthouse in the water 

Back to bed for me.  First, I'd like to mention that Cape Elizabeth, Maine is beautiful and Thank you Aunt Lisa and Uncle Tom for having us.  What a great weekend escape! 

Aunt Lisa and Uncle Tom's home in Cape Elizabeth, Maine

Sea glass that Uncle Tom
and I found

Portland Head Light in Fort Williams

Post-Op Update

Good morning all, apologies for the belated post.

Jill, the trooper that we all know her to be, made it through surgery last night with no complications.  The reports I got were brief, but they were all positive.

The doctor was very pleased with the donor nerve taken from Jill's leg.  The connection of that nerve to her left-side facial nerve was successful, and the doctor seemed confident in the outcome. Jill also had the gold eye weight exchanged for a lighter, smaller one.  By changing the position of the weight Jill will have more comfortant and better symmetry in her right eyelid.

They gave Jill some anti-nausea medication to counteract the anesthesia which seemed to help her a lot.  She was in very good spirits last night when I talked to Carol, joking with the nurses as we would expect Jill to do directly after major surgery.

The doctor will be back in this morning to do a final check-up, and Jill could be discharged as early as noon today.  I cannot wait to have her back here, taking care of Oliver on my own has not been easy and she has a lot of leaves to rake.

I hope this was helpful, thank you all for your thoughts and care.  Jill has a great support system behind her.

Adam

Cross Facial Nerve Graft Surgeries

As the time creeps upon us, I am getting excited and a little nervous about my upcoming mini vacation and surgery with Carol, my Mother-in-law, and her sister Aunt Lisa.  The surgery is in Boston with Dr. Tessa Hadlock, at the Facial Nerve Center next Monday 11/7.  There is also an orientation this Friday where I will sit down with the whole Facial Nerve Center team.  They will get a chance to analyze and discuss my face; what is working, what is not, and overall game plan.  I feel honored to be in the arms of such professionals who care not only about my brain, but my face.

From there we are headed to Aunt Lisa's house in Cape Elizabeth, Maine for the weekend.  I cannot say I have ever been that far north on the Atlantic, but I look forward to visiting with Aunt Lisa, her Family, and Carol.  I hear Aunt Lisa's house is beautiful and is very close to the ocean.  I strongly look forward to the sight, sound, smell of the sea.  It is so nostalgic and I can easily get lost reminiscing and staring towards the horizon or even into the tide pools with all the odd little creatures.  So, to say the least, I am looking forward to experiencing Cape Elizabeth.

 

Grafting and Harvest of Nerve



This Cross face nerve transfer is a 2 step process, meaning two surgeries with the second being twice as long and much more invasive.  However, I have 10 months to not think about that. 

The first step consists of taking a sensory nerve from the back of my calf and placing it in my face.  It is inserted and spliced into the base of the facial nerve that is in good condition, which is my left side. It is pulled across my face above my lips to the other cheek.  This is a 4hr process.  After 10 months of letting the nerve heal and grow at 1mm per day, I will be able to feel that the nerve is alive and well by little triggers and feeling.

Platinum Gold Weight



While I am under, my current gold eye weight will be removed and replaced with a lighter one.  The purpose of the weight is to help with eye closure which I have lost control over.  With a new weight in a new location, I am hoping to achieve more symmetry and less aggravation to my eye.  For example, the current placement of my weight pushes my eyelash hair down obstructing my view and also touches my cornea at times, not to mention that I cannot wear mascara.  Every girl should be able to wear mascara if she wants. 



Free Muscle Transfer-Gracilis Muscle



Step two happens around June-August of 2012.  My Mom and hopefully Adam, depending on school, will be joining me.  This process is called a Free Muscle Transfer and consists of taking a chunk of the gracilis muscle that is located in the thigh, and inserting it into the cheek.  The vessels and the grafted sensory nerve will be sewn together.  This is an 8 hour surgery and will have a longer healing period. 



Nasolabial Fold Effacement
Mid Line Face Lift



Along with the Muscle Transfer, I am having a process done called a Nasolabial Fold Effacement that will help with my deflated nostril and flat cheek.  Facial symmetry is the overall goal.  It is basically a Midline Face Lift.  I always wondered if I would ever get plastic surgery. Now I know....Yes :)

In regards to incisions and scars, Im sure you are wondering?  Well, I will have scars on both lower ear/jaw areas, inner mouth, outer forhead, thigh, and calf.  All which will not be to noticeable with time.  Thank goodness I have this big mess of hair.



Hopefully I have painted a clear picture of the cluster of procedures that are in my near future to help with facial paralysis.  It has taken a good period of time and quite a bit of research and patience to find the right Doctor and the right procedures.  I feel great knowing that Dr. Tessa Hadlock will be my surgeon, a lady who has the utmost experience with facial nerves on a consistent basis.  If you would like to view her website, it is http://www.facialnervecenter.org/  

P.S- For immediate post operation updates, Adam has agreed to post a blog.  All who were with me post Brain Surgery know it's better to keep my communication limited and minimal..  I am a little forward, I hear.  Good luck Carol and Lisa!  Just kidding!  You cannot be mean to the nicest ladies around, The Who's.

Let the surgeries begin! Restore my smile please.

Most of you know where I am at on my journey through life.  I have had some great highs and some hard to swallow lows in the last couple years.  Positive events such as marrying my best friend and the love of my life, Adam, have kept me a float.  Our family as well as all of our friends are so supportive and loving, which truly makes this life worth living for me.  Love is amazing, powerful and just may be the best emotion and word there is.

My upcoming surgeries offer me the opportunity to smile again, to have emotional and spontaneous movement in the right side of my face, which is currently paralyzed.  The heartbreak I have felt from losing my smile and communication with others has the fighting chance to mend, which is awesome to its fullest meaning and very scary at the same time.   It is given that I will not have as much movement as I used to have pre-brain surgery, but I will be able to move more than I do now if the surgeries are successful.  All I want to do is bring a smile to someones face by smiling at them.  So basic, yet so complex.  I want to bring joy, lightness, and happiness to others lives with my face.  I'm tired of wearing this complex face that bears my wounds for everyone I pass to view, question, ponder, feel sorry for, and sometimes judge.

So, how will the new Jill look?  I just don't know.  I hope I like it.  The human face doesn't normally change in drastic amounts.  The comfort of knowing what ones face looks like, has been completely lost for me at this time.  So, bring a comfortable face back to me, I ask in all that there is on earth, in heaven, the skies, the deep seas, all the way to the possible aliens in other solar systems... :) Please hear me Lord! Hear me Grandpa Tom, Donald Taylor, Pop, Chancey-Boy!  I know you are out there. (Ah, breathe Jill.)  Trust is what I must do, even though it is risky business.  Ok, 9 out of a dozen eggs are in my basket.  Is that enough trust without letting myself down if things don't work out as I desire?

Now that I have counseled my way through this blog, I feel a bit more clear mentally.  This is good for me.  I know the issue is a little dark, but it is my reality day in, day out.  At least Helen Keller's words of wisdom guide me in the right direction, along with the sweet little face of our puggy Oliver. 

"Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form

an invincible host against difficulty."  Helen Keller

 

Toot-a-loo! jpc

Fall Colors

What a beautiful time of year this is! It seems that every day of fall has a different scenery than the day before. Of course, this is my first fall season living in Michigan, so it is extra exciting for me. I was running around with a camera the other day trying to get some good shots before this is all over. Well, until next year. I have to Thank Adam (and Oli) for being graciously patient with me as I practically climbed the base of the trees trying to get just the right pic.

Michigan nature always has something upon the way to look forward to. For example, I planted 50 tulip bulbs and 50 iris bulbs, so that next spring we will have a super pretty arrangement of color blooming amongst the snow. I am so excited and I still have multiple months to wait. First, I am excited to see those Cross boys jump into the frozen lake this winter. It's called Polar Bearing and it is a site to see. Oh, and also we will be celebrating Thanksgiving in Steve and Amy's new fabulous home. Congratulations you guys!

Well, I think I am going to enjoy blogging. I figured this would be a good way for me to share my "Up-North" experiences with everyone. Being natives of California for quite a few generations, myself and my family do not really know what this Northern living is all about. Thank goodness I have the Crosses here to share this beauty.. You know, keeping an eye out for me and sharing all of their experienced knowledge.

I am off to pack my bags for my overnight adventure to Detroit for the Marathon tomorrow. I am excited to meet a couple new friends and also spend time with Christi and Courtney. We are having layered pizza tonight. Running the marathon as a relay tomorrow. My leg is right around 6.5miles. Then having super tasty pastries in the park after the marathon is over. Our team "Go,go,go," will have a blast! We went to Mike and Courtney's adorable home for dinner last night and met Maggie (Mike's sis), and Libby. They along with Mike are doing the entire distance of 26 miles... Oh my gosh.. I'm so excited for them. I cannot even imagine what is going on in their minds. They will do great! What an achievement.

For now... Goodbye! Nice chatting. Love you all. Have a good Halloween Party today Orv, Melis, and Merrick. I really need to see a photo of the Dad's wearing onsies... Now that should be funny. Are you all drinking beer out of bottles too? :)